We talk about how important it is for foster kids to have good daddies.
We talk about:
- The need to counteract bad fathers in foster kids’ lives
- Giving hugs
- Foster dads who get dragged into by their wives
- Telling girls they are pretty. John and Stasi Eldredge: Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul
- Calming Andrea’s mania
Great Podcast–but one thing I note is that kids who go into the foster-care system have bad moms as well as dads. IMO it’s a team effort, and both foster parents need to fill the roles of mom and dad that the biological parents neglected to fill. JMO.
too true!
Hi Tim & Wendy,
We just listened to all your podcasts tonight in one sitting. DH & I are exploring the idea of fostering and have found your journey helpful.
Just wanted to chime in about your thoughts on raising daughters. Though we’ve not been parents ourselves, enough counseling of young women has helped us to understand that girls need to know that they are VALUED because they are God’s, not because they are ‘pretty’. If we focus so much on complimenting them when they are pretty – wearing dresses and ribbons, etc, then they will believe that their value is based on their beauty and always seek after that. This could be trouble because most girls end up feeling like they are not pretty enough (even if their parents telll them so — at some point (teenage yrs) what their parents say won’t count as much as what the boys say) and will do whatever they can to receive the attention and affirmation. We need to affirm our girls on their character, their godliness, etc. Unlike what the Eldridges write, I think a woman’s greatest longing/desire which need to be met is not “to be a beauty†but to be the apple of GOD’S eye (to know that they are HIS valued creations), at the center of HIS will for them.
There’s a book called “Growing Strong Daughters†(Lisa Graham McMinn) that does an EXCELLENT job pointing parents in the right direction in how to raise up daughters that they may become more Christ-like (rather than conforming to the world’s message of what a women ’should be’). Here’s the link to amazon.
Blessings to you both in your journey!
In addition to what Mary Ann said above, I wanted to add Prov 31:30,
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.â€
We need to teach our young women that the most important thing is fear the Lord. Their identity needs to be based on Him.
Great points. Glad you found us!
Glad I found this one- we recently did respite care for 2 girls (14 months and 24 months) who were so afraid of men that my husband could not been in the same room with the girls. They even cried to hear a male voice. Any advice for handling girls who are truly afriad of a daddy?
thanks
I really enjoyed listening to this, as we decide whether to accept two young boys into our care. We were informed that initially the CASA and GAL felt the father figure was secondary in a foster/adopt home because these boys have been primarily by women but everyone else has advocated that a father figure is VERY important for these boys so they can begin to build positive mail relationships and learn about what a responsible father and husband looks like. I agree that children need to learn positive attachment to both role models.
I enjoyed your quote about the men being more cautious when it comes to foster care. We are the opposite. I have been EXTREMELY more cautious and wary into entering foster care.