We had a really pleasant week which included a trip the the Emergency Room and a lot of displays of flat out anger and aggression in our girls. To top it off, they’ve learned the “F” word.
We give a shout out to Jana Alayra, the Children’s Worship Leader who taught our girls how to cuss (It wasn’t really her fault). Jana, if you’re out there we need you to come teach a couple of preschoolers what the real lyrics are.
An update on our court date and what we can expect next.
We also start a new feature called “Listener’s Corner”. Wait till you hear the jingle.
Thank you for your podcast. We feel like we are going through this right alongside of you. You see, we became foster parents in May 2007, and we are having some similar issues to deal with.
We have two teenage biological daughters and two foster daughters, age 6 and 9. We feel so very blessed that we just wanted to share our love and bounty with these children. And there is such a need. We brought our older children into the decision to foster, and I have watched their spirits grow from the experience. They were starting to get that ‘teenage attitude’, but they have both really taken on a spirit of servitude and gratitude, so this has been a blessing to all of us.
But it is a difficult blessing. The six year old had very difficult holidays, her anger and agression increased to 3-4 tantrums a day. And we are so limited we are in tools, as we have rules here that prevent us from any kind of restraint, including keeping her from leaving the house. We have actually had to follow her out the door and down the street to keep her safe, because we weren’t allowed to lock her in the house. And it’s so difficult to keep your own spirit in the right place when you are so tired of the tantrums.
Both children are wetting the bed pretty regularly, which is especially difficult for the nine year old. We are ruling out some medical issues, but we had to make the hard choice between getting up every night and changing bedsheets or making a nine year old wear embarassing pull-ups.
There are other issues from the abuse the children experienced: they suffer body issues, personal boundary problems, behavior problems, but all of these things are very understandable reactions to the things that have happened to them. The ‘final’ court date for these girls is supposed to be Feb 4th, and these kids, like yours, are extremely attached to their mother, who sounds alot like Carmen. She loves her kids and hasn’t abused them, but she isn’t able to care for them right now. That’s why we are here.
And that’s finally what I want to share with you. Hang in there. You aren’t alone. The work is hard, but it’s worth it. We make a difference. Not only to the children that we care for, but to the people and children at our church and in our communities, as they have the opportunity to share in the lives of these children, which is a blessing for them as well. And to ourselves.
Keep up the good work. God bless you.
Mary
Mary,
I’m so glad you wrote. It’s so good to know that others are walking alongside us in this. You have certainly had your share of issues with these kids! It sounds like you have had moments of reaching the end of your rope as we have. On one particularly hard night, a friend sent me this Scripture:
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
It was so true for me at that moment. It seems like the weeping returns every day, but each morning is new and fresh.
Please keep checking in and letting us know how you’re doing. We’ll keep you and your whole family in prayer.
Wendy
Some of the issues you are having with the girls are normal for all children at that age. They love to get into things they shouldn’t – such as the lotion and lipstick that you mentioned. My daughter once got ahold of a box of mini crutons and proceeded to spray them into every crevice of our living room. Boy was that a fun job to clean up! So keep in mind that although your girls have extra issues to overcome some things that they are doing is normal 3-4 year old behavior.
WD40! My son made a HUGE mess on BRAND NEW CARPETS (and everything else) with my lipstick, and it came completely out by spraying WD-40 on the carpet stains and then wiping it up.
Best of everything,
Kiki