Episode 24 – Odds of Getting a Placement

Andrea and Linda had a visit with their grandfather. The visit went great but the aftermath was not so great. Also Wendy left town for 3.5 days, find out how Tim did with them on his own once more.

In this episode we offer our ideas on how to more easily get placed with kids. If you’re having a hard time getting kids placed in your home this episode just for you.

16 thoughts on “Episode 24 – Odds of Getting a Placement

  1. I am here! Still a total GROUPIE. I was very flattered (and certainly not insulted) that I was mentioned on listener corner. My husband and I were just laughing at your mention of my “crazy system” letter tonight, which is great, because we had some discouraging news about the placement we wrote about last week and the smile was a blessing.

    The other part that made us giggle (and not be insulted) is that we were (and still are) one of those couples who were like “We don’t want any risk”. Hmmm. Just to defend that statement a little, we have two older boys (8 1/2 and 5). We were worried about their emotional ability to lose a placement, so we only accepted a situation with “NO RISK”. Hmmmm. (However, we did indicate our openess to boys from any race, under 3, with developmental delays).

    So, why am I Hmmm-ing? Because here we are now waiting for our “coin-toss” to decide whether we are going to be able to adopt this little boy, even though we asked every question about the certainty of the placement and made it clear that we were quite willing to wait for a very low risk placement. One big lesson to learn… don’t always assume that the agency is telling you everything or knows everything. We are now in a holding pattern to see how this pans out and will let you “all” know. (And if you would, please toss a few prayers towards us here in Illinois).

    THE WAY BIGGER LESSON is that only NOW do we realize that the risk is still worth it. The details of the case aside, he is a beautiful boy who needs tons of love and developmental healing. It turns out in our situation that even if we do not get to adopt him, we will have been instrumental in securing a more permanent future for him. Yes, it has been and could be even harder on the boys and us. There was a solid weekend of tears on my part, denial on my husband’s part, and confusion on the part of my boys.

    Still… when Tim said that we will be able to show him just how hard we fought to advocate for him, there was only really one way to respond…. TRU-DAT!

    (Tim’s “TRU-DAT” was especially priceless and worthy of a third chuckle in one podcast!).

    The result of our efforts either way will be to transition him out of a lifelong foster situation into a family that is 100% ready and willing to commit from day 1. (us!!)

    Whatever number of listeners you can count among your friends, be sure to add +2 for me (and my hubby). I check once a day to see if your blog is updated. Groupies never leave, so you will just have to get used to me (though I really am not a stalker or anything, just a fan in need of foster mom therapy). We are really not that scary. We have a blog that is not open to the public for confidentiality reasons. If you wonder what our little family looks like (so you can run and hide if you see us) you can email us privately and I can invite you to the site.

    Your Sister in Christ from just outside Chicago

    PS. Our little guy is African American (I suppose we are European Americans), but we live in such a diverse community that we truly believe our little guy would just feel right at home.

  2. I am a regular listener but just realized I’ve missed the past two episodes, but I have a good excuse…We recently got our first foster care placement – a newborn baby boy!!! Our hearts are just bursting with love for this precious baby and we are enjoying every moment of caring for him. Please pray for us and him as we navigate through this time together.


  3. Howdy folks. I found your podcast a few weeks ago. I like to listen to things in order, so it took me a while to catch up.

    I’m not a foster parent, however I am somewhat familiar with the crazy system. I worked at a foster care agency in Texas. Then I moved to Minnesota where I had an internship at a foster care agency here. (I am currently getting my Master’s in Social Work) So anyway, I think your info on attachment is awesome. I like too that you explain the way you feel ‘called’ to be foster parents. What an amazing way to answer God’s call.

    My only question is, on your website, it looks like you are in snow, but don’t you live in Southern California???? does it snow there?

    Keep up the good work.
    You’re in my prayers.


  4. Hey, nice to see you guys!

    Laura–we adore you. I will email you personally to get more of the scoop and check out your blog.

    Mandi–Congratulations! What a special time for you guys and Baby Boy too. Any requests for episode content?

    Maggie–Glad you found us. Thanks for going into social work. We need people who care like you. Yes, we are in Southern California although for confidentiality reasons we don’t disclose exactly where. But we do have mountains and we get some snow on them. (It’s no Minnesota though!)

  5. Haha, I feel so happy that you mentioned me twice in your podcast! I’ve been listening to the back episodes while waiting for this new one. Both of you seem to take the ups and downs with ease and good humor. I enjoy hearing the two of you interact. In some ways this podcast is as much about your marriage as it is about foster parenting. Sorry, that’s just my training as a therapist coming through. I’ll try not to psychoanalyze your marriage too much. 😉 Oh, and Tim you didn’t really say much about what you did with the girls when Wendy was away….hmmmm. But I’m glad that things went well for you. 😀 Take care.

  6. We’ll talk about the “new method” in an upcoming podcast. I guess asking you to not psycho-analyze us would be impossible. But at least let us know if you come up with anything interesting.

  7. Loved Linda’s comment about what Wendy might say to her at the airport! So adorable! Its moments like those that you have to hang on to!

  8. May you feel God’s presence today! May His peace and comfort fill your hearts and drive out all fear!

  9. I stumbled so to speak across this pod cast looking for info on foster care/adoption. We have 1 son (3 1/2) already, and have been struggling with infertility for the entire span of our marriage (5 1/2 years). Anyhow, we were blessed with our son, but..now we want to add to our family and foster care may be it. This pod cast as been so informative, and such a blessing to hear it from a Christian prespective! Please say a prayer for us that we will hear God’s plan for continuing to add to our family, through biological or foster/adopt=) We will be saying prayers for y’all too!=)

  10. I know this is an older episode but I’ve recently just discovered your podcast. I have enjoyed listening to your foster/adopt story and hearing about your experiences with the “crazy system”.

    I wanted to add that one reason why I am choosing a low risk situation is that I have a four year old. I am concerned about exposing her to the instability of a high risk situation. I’m sure that this is one of the reasons my wait has been longer. This may also have been an issue for some of the people in your class who selected low risk.

    I think this episode has struck a chord with me also because I often hear that there are so many African-American children in need of a home but for me the wait has been extremely long. There seems, in my case at least, a disconnect in matching those children with families willing to adopt them.

    Thanks for sharing. It’s been great to hear a Christian perspective on fostering and adoption.

  11. Hi Savannah,

    We’re glad you found us. We certainly understand the desire to look out for kids already in the home.

    Thanks for listening. We pray you get a placement soon.

  12. Tim & Wendy,
    Thank you for your enlightening podcast. I am up to # 24. My husband and I are going to the classes to qualify to be foster parents in Florida. I seen that you wanted suggestions for future topics. I have so many questions and I know you may cover them in future podcasts but here are some of my ideas. 1. Suggestions for the first day/night with foster child. 2. How to introduce foster child to family or friends? 3. What is your daily routine morning to night? 4. How do you get a foster child to open up to you? 5. What do you do together as a family for fun? 6. What are some of your favorite bedtime stories, songs, routines? 7. What if a foster child does not like me? 8. What are the POSITIVE aspects of being a foster parent?
    I will probably have more questions at a later time. Again I want to say thanks for sharing your experience and the positive things of foster parenting. Thanks and keep up the good work!

  13. I just listened to this episode and I’ve been bawling my eyes out thinking about the pain my future kids are going through and will be going through before I meet them. Thank you for encouraging people to take higher risk kids to walk that road with them. It’s been a big fear of ours that we might lose kids we really love–but that’s so selfish of us to think of it from our point of view only. I would love to be able to hold my kids and be able to understand what they’ve been through because I was there with them.

    We are not fostering yet, but I really feel it’s in our hearts someday. We’ve got 2 biological kids ages 4 and 2, so I think we need another year or so before we add to our family, so we will be able to give all of them the attention they’ll need. But I ache for them and pray for them even though I don’t know them yet. I pray that God will rescue them and save them from pain and instill hope in them. I pray that God will touch the lives of their parents so their eyes will be opened, and I pray that God will give us the strength and wisdom we’ll need to do this someday.

  14. Loved this, my husband and I are about to move to another state and then start the licensing process for fost-adopt. We are willing to take a sibling group of 2, where the older kid is no older than 9, we’ll take any ethnicity except Native American (because of ICWA), I’m caucasian, my husband is half-black and we have no children currently, so we’re really like to be there for minority kids. However, we’re reallllly nervous about risk. With our profile, would we likely get a placement even if we only took legally free kids? How much should we keep talking about whether we can be open to the potential heartbreak of risky placements?

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