A book review of Talking with Young Children about Adoption
We also briefly mention Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families With Special-Needs Kids : A Guide for Parents and Professionals
Foster & Adoption Parenting Podcast
Join foster parents T and W as they discuss foster care and adoption. With humor, insight and Christian faith, they share their everyday ups and downs as a foster family with hopes of adoption.
Tim and Wendy,
I love your podcast!! As a foster parent myself, so many of the things you share make me say “I thought I was the only one who felt that way – glad to know I’m not!” This podcast was particularly helpful in talking about adoption to my birth children about the baby we are now adopting. I can’t wait for your next “Listener Corner” podcast!
Tim commented in one podcast that as parents you are the guardian of your child’s story. Can you talk about how to do that politely when others, particularly those outside the family/close friends circle, ask questions they don’t need to know the answer to? As I said, we are in process now of adopting a girl that was placed with us as a newborn through foster care and has just had her first birthday. I’ve struggled with being polite but still telling people that some elements of her story are none of their business.
On another note, do you have a good answer for when people ask “Which ones are yours?” (Can you tell I have issues with nosy strangers??) I know that what they mean is “Which of your children are biologically yours and which ones are adopted?” I do not like to differientiate between the two, not only because it’s just not right but also because I do not want any of my children to hear me put them in the biological/adopted category on a regular basis – this question is asked a lot because our baby girl is biracial and looks much different than my two older children.
I know that it is partly my own doing in bringing these questions on myself because I am so passionate about foster parenting that I will talk about it to anyone at every opportunity. Naturally this brings up questions – some of which I don’t mind answering and some of which I feel are either too personal or just impolite (even if not intentional). I want to be open and help to inform other people about foster care but not at the expense of my children and their “story” or connection to our family. Thanks for any advice you may have.
Your biggest fan in NC,
Jenny
I wrote once before, a few months ago. I listen to you guys every week at work and you make me laugh. I have to say that listener corner is slowly growing on me! My husband got a call yesterday from our agency saying we are being considered for a 6-month-old boy from foster care. We are very excited since this is the first time we’ve had any calls at all.
On the subject of talking with your children about adoption, I realize that not only do I need to prepare myself to talk about adoption with our child, but in our case, my niece as well. She is 11 and also adopted from foster care at a young age. Seeing us bring a new child into the family will probably bring up questions for her about her own adoption. She is the oldest grandchild and likes to sit with the adults when we have family dinners, so I am just wondering how best to talk about our coming adoption in front of her. I am mostly afraid of those personal questions that people will ask about our child’s background and without realizing it hers too.
Jenny has some great questions for you. We are not even approved as foster parents yet (but have started the process) and we are already getting very awkward comments from family and friends. I have a very perceptive and sensitive 4 year old and I’d love to hear of ways to delicately answer intrusive or inappropriate questions regarding foster/adopted children.
Hi ladies–you’re putting REALLY good questions out there about how to talk about fostering and adoption with other people. We will delve into this on the next episode for sure!
Can anybody share with me some examples of the questions/comments you get (or what you anticipate)? Also, anybody who has been there and has some advice–please comment too.
Wendy
Tried to submit a comment last night but it disappeared! Here goes again…
I am another of your international fan club – I’m in Scotland!!
I hope soon to adopt my 6 year old foster daughter. I listen to your podcast while she is at her swimming lesson, though thankfully I was alone in my car when I cried all the way through episode 27, your description of Linda was exactly what I experience with my daughter. I’m learning a lot from you guys! God bless x
Corinne
We are recently matched (but still waiting for the big conference call that should lead to a meeting) of a 3-year old boy to join our bio 5 1/2 year old daughter. Learning so much from the podcast but only up to this episode. It’s helping me get through the waiting and helping me think of questions to ask myself, my husband, and our social worker. Thanks for doing it and doing it so well!
raena:)
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