5 thoughts on “Episode 38 – When Your Social Worker Doesn’t Return Calls”

1. All you have to do is leave several messages with a live person, get the name of the person you leave the message with, and document every call. The workers will have to answer to it sooner or later.

2. Hi Tim and Wendy,

   My husband and I got the bug to find what you were looking for, and this was an incredibly interesting, if not the most eloquently expressed, series of blog entries discussing the topic amongst a variety of people, including a few adult open adoptees. Our impression was that there was a bias towards open adoption among the birth and adoptive parents, but that this was not the consensus amongst adult open adoptees, who were much more ambivalent. I’d love to know what you think, as we are thinking about this ourselves.

   http://forums.adoption.com/adult-adoptees-open-adoption/273571-i-am-adult-who-raised-open-adoption.html

3. Tim and Wendy,
   I think it’s great what you are doing with this podcast, since many foster parents could benefit from the support you lend. As a social worker, I just wanted to clarify the term “social worker.” A social worker is anyone who has a bachelor’s or master’s degree in the field of social work. I only bring this up because often the term “social worker” is generalized by many to mean caseworker or case manager, and the field of social work, which is backed by the National Association of Social Workers feels strongly to distinguish the social work profession compared to other professions. From my experience, a large majority of case managers who work in foster care have degrees in social work, however there are also many who don’t. A good analogy of this is like calling all therapists psychologists, when in reality therapists can be psychologists, licensed counselors, and social workers.

   My advice for foster parents who are having difficulty reaching case managers is to use e-mail and copy their supervisors, HOWEVER only use the children’s initials and do not write any identifying information about the children you care for to protect confidentiality and keep the e-mails brief (e.g., “Please call us to let us know what happened in court yesterday, thanks”). If you do not have access to e-mail then don’t hesitate to call the supervisor, case managers are extremely busy and bumping it up the ladder often helps prioritize what’s urgent for case managers. If it’s not urgent then the supervisor may be able to provide a quick response, since they’re not in the field as much as case managers. Keep in mind the many hours case managers spend sitting in court hearings, conducting home visits, school visits, and attending various meetings to just name a few duties. Also keep in mind that majority of case managers are overworked and underpaid, and most do the work for the passion they have in making a difference in children’s lives even though it may not always appear that way looking in from the outside. At the next home visit your case manager has, make it a point to say that you know how busy he/she must be, thank them for their dedication to the children you care for, and remind them that it’s people like them who make a difference in children’s lives by helping them achieve a permanent placement. For most case managers this will go a very long way, and will likely motivate them to live up to this standard and will increase the probability of them returning your call sooner because they’ll feel valued by calling you, especially when their work is often unappreciated by the system.

   In regards to your question concerning open adoptions, of course every child and every situation is different. It would be difficult to say that open adoptions are either good or bad for all children. What I can say based on experience is that many children long for their biological roots or connections, even after years of being away from their parents. One example of this is a book recently released, called “Hope’s Boy,” by Andrew Bridge, which is a memoir of an attorney who grew up in foster care and yearned to be with his mother after living in foster care for over 10 years until he “aged-out” of the system. Although research is limited in the child welfare field in general, it is often best to individualize what’s best for each child when addressing this issue. Thanks again for your advocacy.

4. Hi guys! I just wanted to post a comment of how much I love your podcast. I have thought for a while about becoming a foster/adopt parent and your experience and sense of humor are wonderful to listen to- I got your info off of itunes and will post an excellent review there. I hope this hasn’tbeen addressed before and I”ll check on the sites you recommend (I’m in SoCal, Los Angeles) and I’m still in the preparation stage, gathering info and support, but I’m a single woman and I’m wondering if you could recommend any info for single fost/adopt parents and their experience and advice. I’m 37 and am self-employed. I also appreciate that you are Christians but you don’t seem to impose it on your listeners and I really appreciate it- I am not religious and I really appreciate what you’re doing and sharing your experiences with all of us! I’m going to tell my sister (4 kids, 3 international adoptions) about it and more, when I get all of my ducks in a row!

5. My social worker hasn’t emailed me in 2 1/2 weeks. We are interested in 2 different boys who are available for adoption. We have read their profile and want to move forward. You would think she would contact us and keep us updated on what is happening. So far nothing!! I am so angry and frustrated with the foster care system. No wonder families adopt children in other countries.