Episode 49 – Ramona, Former Foster Child

Wendy takes time to interview our friend Ramona, who grew up in foster care.

Coming soon: stay tuned for our National Adoption Month plans. Email with any of your adoption specific questions.

9 thoughts on “Episode 49 – Ramona, Former Foster Child

  1. Thanks so much to your friend for sharing her story.

    Listening to her speak about how much she didn’t know or remember about her many homes and the sheer fact that she had so many homes just makes me, as a foster parent, very angry. I know that we don’t know the specifics of her story, but I don’t understand why children have to go from home to home. Why are foster children in the system for 13 years without being adopted? Why do foster parents take a foster child home to be a friend to “their” child that is the same age and then let go of the childand make them wonder on to the next home? Why do we make children feel like nomads who have to pack up their things and travel from place to place?

    I definitely applaud her for not growing up to be an angry adult.It is very easy for me to understand why some children that grown up in the foster system are angry and dysfunctional adults. And why the cycle of abuse and sometimes continues when an adult foster child has children of their own that end up in the foster care system. It really is hard to blame them when you think about what their life story was made up of. So I think it is amazing when a now-adult foster child is able to make the decision that their life will not be about all of the unhappy, wrong things that happened to them as a child.
    Thanks again Ramona.

  2. Hi Tim and Wendy,
    It’s me, Lex, the president of your Seoul Fan Club! I am just checking in to let you know that I am still listening and still saying prayers for your fam. I LOVED the interview with Ramona. I LOVED it, LOVED it, LOVED it, and I HIGHLY encourage you to seek out more adults who grew up in the foster system to be guests on your podcast. I would be very interested to hear from people who were fostered multi-racially and what they feel that their foster parents did right. I would be hard-pressed to try to think of a way that you could actually make your podcast more fun and informative to listen to…but I think an interview once a month would just be the cherry on top of the cake, and I think it may garner more listeners as well. As for us old school listeners, you know that we are already hooked! I am sending you a power-fist of support!
    -Lex

  3. Hi Guys

    Thanks so much for putting out such a wonderful pod-cast. The interview this past episode was wonderful to listen to as are all you episodes. However the reason I am writing you is this. My wife and I are also foster parents and we have a foster to adopt placement in our home right now. Hope (not her real name) is now 11 months old and is wonderful to have around. She has been with us for all but two weeks of her life and as of October 20th is free for adoption. WOOHOO!!!!! But I am still of track as to the reason for this post. Our foster certification needed to be renewed this past month as the adoption is not yet final and we plan to continue to foster as a respite home. We had told our certification worker about your show. Months ago we had said how wonderful it was to here you both talk about your journey as foster parents and what you have learned since you embarked. Well a few months later (last week) we were talking about what we need for our re-cert. As always my wonderful wife was up to date on all her training hours but the great procrastinator (Me) still needed a few more (8 to be exact) hours to be current. We were trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do to make up the hours I needed when out of the blue our cert worker pipes up and says “What about that Pod-cast you told me about. I listened to a few episodes and the content was great. You are more than welcome to use that as training hours.” So not only did you guys help me with my training hours for last year but I have another 8 and a half hour in the bag for next year. Thanks Tim and Wendy!

    Listeners 5&6
    James & Mel

    PS: The total running time of all 49 episodes so far, according to i-tunes, equals 16:30:37. (Just some trivia for Tim)

  4. OMG! That is really unexpected. How come we’re not getting hours for creating this show?!? Well we’re glad for you. If there are other foster parents getting training hours we need to know about it.

    Can you tell us what state you are in and if you are with a private agency or county?

  5. We are in Colorado and we are certified through Adams County, Just north-east of Denver

  6. I was with Adams county but just started to work with another county instead. I also have been documenting the podcast and plan to use them as training hours.

  7. Tim and Wendy,
    That was a great podcast with Ramona! So helpful. She’s great. I hope you have her on again!! The thing I got out of it that was helpful was that when a new foster kid comes, you can try your best to make the child feel comfortable, but it’s not going to be all better. They are not going to be happy. It is still traumatic to move to a new home, and the foster parents can’t make everything all better. Have to just ride out the wave of adjustment with the child.

  8. Hi Wendy and Tim,

    I’m a big podcast fan, so was happy to find this. I am not a foster parent currenlty, though I have done this in the past. I enjoyed this particular interview because I too grew up in foster care because my mother was MR and had schizophrenia and my father was alcoholic. For a period in my life I really resented my foster mother because of her criticism, emotional abuse and favoritism. As an adult, I went back and read my case file and read that because of the family history and the severe neglect I suffered that the DHS worker was insisting I was retarded. As I read on it stated that my foster mom was bound and determined that they were wrong and she set out to prove them wrong and had me reading before starting Kindergarten. As I read that file that day, I had a paradigm shift, from that moment on, no matter what else she had done I could no longer resent her because she gave me “a brain.” For that I will forever be grateful.

    Today, literally, I mean today this day, (which is how I got here, I was researching) I am working on writing an e-book for biological parents to learn how to negotiate within the system to create a safe, happy and healthy home environment for their children to live in or come back to.

    Thank you Ramona for speaking so eloquently about your experience, it so parallels mine right down to the father participation. I reminisced about my own foster dad and smiled at my memories. I expect that you, as I do feel blessed for the experiences you have had. It is clear that you turned out just fine. There is a cute little dialogue about parents on youtube.com…search Scrubs Parents? The bottom line is no matter what your experiences – “you turned out okay!”

    I would like to say to any of your listeners/readers thank you for doing what you do. You may never know what impact you have on a child.

    Thanks Wendy and Tim for doing this. As you know that there is a lot of bad press about the foster care system, this is one of if not the most positive resource I have found. I will be sure to mention you in my e-book.

    Blessings to the two of you, Ramona and to all of your listeners (I’m sure there are more then four).

    ~ Deb Gray
    helpforbiofamilies@gmail.com
    http://www.helpforbiofmailies.blogspot.com

  9. What an amazing episode. Hearing her story through her eyes was really special. Today my wife and I will be placed with a little 3 year old girl, and my heart already goes out to her. I can’t wait to show her what a respectful kind daddy can look like. I can’t wait to love on her and lavish her with compliments to let her know how special she is. Thanks for this episode, it was very moving.

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