Episode 61 – A Conversation for Christians

In this episode we decide to have a conversation with Christians about Christianity (and foster care). If you’re not a Christian, feel free to listen in on our “family” conversation. But we won’t be offended if you’re not interested.

If you are a Christian, then you definitely should listen to this one. It’s our thoughts on why Christians MUST be involved in some way in orphan care.

Some of the verses we mention:
James 1:27
Isaiah 58
Ephesians: 2:8-10
Matthew 10:8
Philippians 4:13

29 thoughts on “Episode 61 – A Conversation for Christians

  1. Loved the boldness of your podcast today. As a Christian and a parent myself, I have had to learn that whether I have a bio child, or a foster child, that child does not belong to me. It is God’s child, and it is my responsibility to raise that child to fulfill God’s purpose.

    I’m also glad you mentioned the movie, “The Passion of the Christ” because it really hit home for me as a parent. My daughter was a toddler at the time I was watching the movie, so I was brought to tears during the scene where Mary was watching Jesus fall while carrying his cross, and then there was a flash back to Jesus as a toddler falling on the ground. In the flash back, Mary ran over to her little boy to pick him up again and in the present she wanted to do the same for her adult son, but understood there was no changing what was about to happen to him. That really hit home for me. The pain and helplessness she must have felt while watching her son in agony, I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

    The truth I’ve learned is just as a foster child can be taken away, so can a bio child be taken away. It’s something most of us don’t want to think about, but I found I had to accept it in order to accept becoming attached to a foster child. All children are precious, and all children are people who belong to God and his purpose for them. And as you said, one of our Christian purposes is to help orphans.

    Thanks again for a great message.

    Sincerely,
    Deb Evans

  2. Hi Tim & Wendy
    I enjoyed this episode a lot (I enjoy all of them!). Even though I’m from a different religion, I can really identify with the conversation you are having in your church and community. It’s difficult and challenging but also very necessary to examine whether we are living up to our faith (as individuals and as a community). You provide a wonderful example. Thank you! JK

  3. Thank you for this podcast. Tim, I especially cherished the section of you outlining how 1st Century Christians changed the world by just caring for the children that others threw away. I played it back for my DH (darling husband) and can’t stop thinking about it. Lately, we have been discussing that we could never do this again if they take our baby away. Your podcast helped me remember why we were doing this in the first place, and it was not so that we could avoid all pain.

    To quote one of my foster parenting mentors, we need to be the adults in the situation. We can survive the pain better than a little one can survive without a safe home.

    Thank you for reminding us.

    By the way, neither of you look as if you have been eating enough in your latest Easter photos on Facebook! Why don’t you guys write the Foster Parent Diet and make your fortunes?

    Love, your Groupie #1 Fan, Laura

  4. Ha, thanks Laura. Do be quite honest, I have two dieting secrets 1)Andrea 2) Linda. At a family gathering a couple of months after the girls moved in with us, my parents asked me what I was doing to lose weight. I had no idea I had lost weight and gave all the success to chasing two very energetic girls around.

  5. Hi guys, really appreciated your podcast. You said that not everyone is meant to take foster children into their homes. I guess we’d be included in that for the moment since we live outside of the U.S. So I think it would be helpful if you were to give examples of other ways Christians can be helping the orphan – if they have already determined through prayer that God’s plan is not for them to adopt or foster. ??? Compassion International? Another organization? Another idea?

    Really appreciate you. Love and miss you. Enjoy having you for a “visit” when we get to listen to your podcasts in our home. =) But you never let us get a word in edge-wise! heehee

  6. no matter how i try to listen to this episode, it cuts off at 10 mins – right at the heart of the messge!
    i really want to hear this as i am the foster representative for a new foster and adopt ministry we are starting at our church to get more famiies fostering and adopting.

  7. Jeanne, Try right clicking on the link below the player that says “Download”. Perhaps listening to it on your computer will help.
    You might also try listening in iTunes.

    Sorry you’re having problems.

  8. What a lovely podcast. I am not a Christain, but I listened anyway. And I was truly moved. We are in the process of becoming foster parents for exactly the reasons you mentioned- it seemed absurd for us to live just the three of us (me, hubby and our 3 year old) in a giant 4 bedroom house when others are in need. Yes we both have busy professional jobs and yes we already have a 3 year old biological child- but those aren’t reasons not to foster- those are excuses.
    I have had the exact same experience that you discussed in the podcast- almost every time I tell someone that we are becoming foster parents I get reasons why that person can’t do it – “I’ve got kids, I work, I’m busy, I’d get too attached” blah blah same list every time. And I never knew what to say in response. Your podcast gave me some great insight on my possible replies, so thanks for that.
    Bottom line- what you need to be a foster parent is a spare bedroom and a good heart. The rest is details.

  9. Very interesting, this helped me to further convince myself that foster care is a good thing for me and my wife.

  10. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love the verse your shared from James about how are Faith can be pleasing to God. One of the main ways we as Christians cal seprate ourselves from this world is not by finger pointing but by careing for others that are less fortunate or in need. Doesn’t that take away the problem many lost have with Christians that we are hypocrits? In this way we are able to show the love of God through our actions and not our condemnation.

    If you don’t mind I would like to empahisize on a point you made that we as Christians are not all called to adopt or foster children in our homes. There are many ways that God calls us to help the widows and orphans and we should all be sensitive to the Holly Spirit in how he leads us to do this. There are times when the fear of loosing a child can be very real and painful and therefore God will call us to help in different ways other than foster. Having lost several children in this way has been very difficult on myslef and my family. God wants us to carefully to count the cost of what takes to take up your cross and follow him.

    The question I think any prospective foster/adoptive parent should ask yourself first is if this is where God is leading you. Through him we can do all things but by ourselves we can only get what we can put into it. Abraham found out in very real way what could happen when we take God’s blessing and try to do it on our own. One word of caution here: Don’t adopt to rescue children. There are better ways to help kids if all you want to do is rescue children then teach at school, volunteer at foster agencies, teach sunday school, or even foster for a short time but don’t jump into adoption until your fully ready to realize that you want them as much as they need you. I get so frustrated when people say, “your children are so lucky to have you adopt them.” What? I am the one who has been lucky to have been chosen by God to recieve such a precious gift! No person deserves to have children but every child deserves to have a loving parent.

  11. Hi Tim and Wendy

    I just found your site through the Fostering together group on Facebook. So many of the things you said on this podcast are things that I have felt for a long time. I struggle with talking with friends and family about fostering or adopting while not sounding like I think I am better than them. My wife and I have had the privilege of adopting 6 drug affected or addicted children under the age of 1. It has not been easy, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Early in our marriage I was so anti adoption, but God in His mercy changed my heart, and I feel like He let me in on the biggest secret to finding peace, fulfillment, and purpose to life. I want so badly for others to experience what all of us who have adopted know. The instant bond that I feel everytime I meet another couple who are foster or adoptive parents is amazing. I look forward to listening to your other podcasts and learning more about your ministry.

  12. Tim and Wendy: Great episode. (I’m a bit behind, obviously, just listened to it this morning). I always appreciate hearing people who agree with me (because after all, that means they are right!) and I have said many of the things you were pointing out.

    I used the idea of James 1:28 on my blog this morning and quoted you guys. Hope that was ok.

    http://fletcherclan.blogspot.com/2009/06/what-does-james-128-say.html

    You guys are awesome. Keep up the good work.

  13. Claudia,
    Mind? We are honored! Your post was great. Sorry for quoting you without asking YOUR permission. 😉 I am adding your blog to my reader!
    Wendy

  14. Pingback: Episode 61 « All I've got.

  15. This is the most powerful and compelling “sermon” I have ever heard on this topic. I am catching up on your padcasts, as my husband and I are WAITING anxiously to start certification classes. The first in our area is in September.

    We want to adopt domestically, but had our doubts about whether the risk and cost of fostering was acceptable for our family because we do have 2 small kids in our home already. This podcast confirmed my belief that my two well-attached kids will gain more from the experience than what is lost. I believe that raising them in the center of God’s will & heart with some “danger” and suffering (within the safety of my constant care and love) is more beneficial to them than raising them in excessive comfort and shelter but never showing them who God wants us to be.

  16. Thank you for calling Christians out on this topic! (I’m just now catching up with the podcasts) My wife and I are at the beginning of the certification process and just announcing our intentions to friends and family have brought on similar frustrating comments. “You guys are such saints! I could never do that!”

    Bull*&%!

    I’m already tired of these lame excuses that Christians throw out there to (usually) protect their comfy lifestyle… guarding your heart and other such crap. Phsh!

    Great articulation of this issue. Thanks you guys 🙂

  17. I too loved this episode and was cheering you on all through the podcast. So many things you said resonate with me…It is amazing to hear my words come out of your mouth and we have never spoken before. LOL…..

    Working for a Christian agency as a Foster Parent Recruiter and Trainer – I am always hearing excuses and etc as to why the couldn’t or wouldn’t. While I understand foster parenting may not be for everyone – I find that far too many people automatically disqualify themselves for the wrong reasons or just out of pure selfishness.

    Good stuff Maynard….keep it up!

    Blessings
    Brock

  18. Loved, loved, loved this podcast. Immediately posted it on my facebook page. If you haven’t read Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton, I think you would really enjoy it. Susan asked you in an above comment what ways other than through fostering or adoption shecould help orphans and this book gives so many practical ways we can and should be helping orphans. Thanks so much for your podcast!

  19. My husband and I are finishing up our licensing to become foster parents. I love the ideas for responding to people who are full of excuses. I had a great mentor in MOPS that taught us something about faith, actions, and feelings. It is like a train, faith has to be the engine pulling our actions and our feelings should follow, like a caboose. For those of us who are visual learners this is great for me. Our actions should be lead by our faith in God and his teachings, not the other way around. So many people let their feelings dictate all of their actions. As humans we are weak and our feelings about things are easily manipulated and change depending on our circumstances. Helping others should be done out of love and obedience to God and his teachings. Your podcast is a great help to those of us just getting started. Thanks for what you do!

  20. so i’m behind, a lot. We had actually began the “next step” back in May. My wife introduced me to the podcast in September. It is October. Excellent pod cast, I would ask why did the closing end once you got a sponsor? just curious. Anywho, we are now able to celebrate our son (our first foster child, we have 3 loin children all girls all very excited).

  21. Hi Tim & Wendy,

    Thank you so much for these podcast. I am sure you have already been told a million times how valuable these podcast are and how valuable your vulnerability and honesty is. I love that you have taken your listeners from start to ‘finish’ thru the fostering & adopting process. I think I got through a full year of your life in a couple of days which was probably and eternity for you. I am way behind and cant wait to catch up on your beautiful story.
    I also wanted to say to Tim that in one part of your ‘mini sermon’ you said that if you’re looking for God to give you some type of sign than this IS it. And while that message is most definitely for ALL christians to take very seriously(As God has told us to thru his word). I am most certain that the Holy Spirit was speaking through you for my family. Talk about God speaking LOUDLY in my life! So Thank you for being willing to say what needed to be said.

    I am so EXCITED to see what the Lord is going to do in these childrens lives and how they are going to dramatically impact ours. I am SOO glad that my husband and I have you as one of our references and mentors.

    Again….Thank you!!!

  22. wow! What an awesome message. I have been listening (from the beginning) to your podcasts for the last few weeks. Thanks so much for sharing! My husband and I will be listening to this on a long road trip this week and we hope to start the adoption process soon 🙂

  23. Hi Tim & Wendy,
    I have been listening to your podcast over the last few weeks quite frequently from start to finish. My husband and I are in the process of being licensed and are so excited to be licensed. Your podcast has been so informative and I’ve learned so much! I was so touched by this particular podcast. We are Christian and there was a night that I was having some fears in raising our own 3 kids and bringing a special needs child into our home. That night as we were praying, we prayed for calming fears and direction. The very next morning this was the podcast in my que. It spoke so clearly to me about Jesus cross not being easy to bear so why should ours. So I just wanted to say thank you for letting God work through you to speak to me.

  24. Started from the beginning and am halfway through your current episodes. I can’t get enough! I love having a relatable story and advice to turn to! Thank you!

  25. Pingback: The Story So Far, Part 1 – light sound etc.

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