7 thoughts on “Episode 66 – Choosing the Right Kids”

1. Hi guys,

   Enjoyed your podcast

   My wife and I have been looking into adoption through the foster care system, and had an opportunity this week to do some respite caring for the first time. We had two great little girls come into our home; unfortunately one was already a little unwell and my wife, me and the second girl all became sick across last weekend as well.

   Ah…welcome to the joys of daycare!

   Anyway, what I wanted to mention was in line with what you were discussing in the podcast about what people visualize with respect to their ideal family unit. My wife and I had thought about children under 4, and possibly siblings. However, after diving off the deep end-going from no kiddos to ‘instant family’ we realized what a real commitment this is, and not some romanticized idea. It’s made us step back, really evaluate where we are personally and professionally and look at what age range would be best (now, probably a couple of years older than what we anticipated.)

   So if there are other people out there thinking about foster-to-adopt or straight adopt, maybe they should try what we tried with respite…it really gives you the confidence (especially if you are like us and have never had bio-kids) to know what you can handle and to see how you feel before fully committing to adoption.

   Thanks guys,

   …and may the forest be with you

2. LOVED the episode! Thanks for talking about how grandparents/family members should be involved. That was so helpful and something I will definitely be sharing in the future.

3. I agree, this episode was really good. I think your advice of sticking to the list (of what you will and wont accept) was awesome. We are 2 weeks away from finishing up our requirements for Foster parenting and this episode has helped us really talk about and narrow down what we feel capable of handling and how that will affect our kids already in the home.
   Thanks again!

4. Hi Tim and Wendy!

   I have been listening to your podcast from the beginning. We are a concurrent family in Minnesota with 3 foster children ages 3-5 who have been with us for 13 months.

   Thank you for being so frank and open in your podcasts. It has really helped me through this journey being able to listen to another couple going through a very similar situation: visits with birth mom, behaviors, therapy, meetings and court appearances.

   I just wanted to pass on a link to a PDF that I have found to be very helpful in understanding this process. I wish I would have found it sooner as it explains, step by step, what happens when a child becomes involved in protective services. It is actually written for birth parents, but it the information was so helpful for us as foster parents. It was invaluable in giving me more perspective on the birth mom’s point of view as well (which is very easy to lose sight of). I think every fost-adopt parent should read it!

   http://gucchd.georgetown.edu/files/products_publications/AFamilysGuide.pdf

   Thanks for all that you do. Your girls are lucky to have you, and your listeners are as well!

   Jen

5. It’s funny how you guys do it, this is at least the second time that I’ve heard a podcast from you guys that was at exactly the right time for me to hear it. We’re about to attend class #4 tomorrow for foster care, should be quite exciting!

6. This episode was really interesting in light of my recent exposure to the idea of “unconditional commitment.” You Gotta Believe – and Dr. Bryan Post – really argue that you should be able to parent *any* child if you’ve made the commitment for life. They say that “fit” and “match” aren’t the important factors. A challenging but provocative idea, I thought. Here’s an article on the subject: http://www.yougottabelieve.org/articles/unconditional.htm

7. You might also be interested in You Gotta Believe’s Family Commitment Statement: http://www.yougottabelieve.org/Overheads/Commitment%20Statement%20-%20YGB%20-%20I.doc