We give a review of “Another Place at the Table
In listener corner we share a comment to our last episode. You can read that comment and our response here.
Foster & Adoption Parenting Podcast
Join foster parents T and W as they discuss foster care and adoption. With humor, insight and Christian faith, they share their everyday ups and downs as a foster family with hopes of adoption.
I have been a foster parent for the last 18 years. Always respected by the agency because of my wonderful work with the children. I’m just now recovering from year long nightmare because one caseworker, who wasnt even mine.She must have been having a bad day and took it out on me and my soon to be adopted child. Last year at this time I turned the stove on , the 4 year old was 2 rooms away, I went to use the bathroom quickly maybe 2 min. in that time he took the pot holder touched the flame and put it back in the draw. The smoke started about 1 hr later the fire department was called and thought it was a wall fire.We still didnt know about the oven mit. Well they found it after 2 towns of fire dept came. So with that info. I called the worker and he was taken from me for lack of supervision My worker at the time was even fighting for me .One year later and 10 thousand $ in lawyer fees I finally got him back. They admitted they were wrong in taking him. He came back in june, now 5, and is now telling me of the abuse that happened in his foster home . He was hit with a belt and a shoe on the head and butt. He also says a grown man shared his bed room and also hurt him. Hes going to therapy 3 times a week. I shared this with the agency and there responce is that I’m a trouble maker. The adoption should be finalized soon and I will be out of foster forever because of this terrible experience. So I’m writing this because I want to know if any of the foster parent ever experienced any thing as terrible
I’ve recently added this book to my list to read as well. I’d recommend another memoir. As a foster parent, this was great for me to read. It’s called Finding Fish: A Memoir. It’s the story of a man who was born to his mother in prison in 1959 lived in several foster placements his whole chilhood, aged out of the system and fought his way to success. It’s a harrow tale of a really messed up system taking care of a boy with an indomitable spirit and heart. We think we deal with a crazy system. The system in the 60′s and 70′s has come a long way to its current state of much less craziness. It was a captivating story and I learned A LOT about how I can be a better foster parent from it.
My wife and I have only recently found your podcast and we love it. You’ve given voice to so many things that we think and deal with. We’ve identified with you on most occassions. We’re thankful for your work and hope you keep it up!
I really liked Another Place at the Table. It was one of the things- along with your podcast- that prompted me to become a foster parent, and that inspires me when I get frustrated. The author’s voice is so real and honest- she admits her good and bad traits and failures too. I think the best part is that she admits that not every kid is right for every foster family, and that a good “fit” matters. Even when she wants to help, her family may not be the right place for a child. We are learning this, and it is a important lesson.
I also like that she discusses the impact of fostering on her bio kids (loin kids as Tim says!) as we have a bio son also and so few resources talk about building a blended family in this way, and how to help your bio kid adjust. Love the podcast, keep up the good work.
I would like to post a comment to lynda grillo who shared about her foster parenting “nightmare”.
First I wanted to say to Lynda, I am so sorry to hear your child was put through that. I hope that you will continue to take him to counsiling and help him through the trama he recieved while he was away.
I think that as foster parents we all have an experience with a worker that isn’t great. I would encourage you to get your adoption final and then speak to the department head about this situation. As foster/adopt parents we are our kids biggest advocate. We are the ones with them day in and day out. We see their triumps and their struggles. In a system that is over whelmed with children and under whelmed with social workers and foster homes, it is important that we speak up for ourselves and our kids. You can’t change what has happened in your situation, but the hope would be that by having it addressed, it will keep another child from having to experience that.
I hope that time will heal yourself and your family. I will be praying for your little boy.
When I was listening to this episode I thought to myself, Hey! I haven’t let Tim and Wendy know about our book. So I’m doing it. In fact, I may even be persuaded to send you a free copy if you would like one to review it for us.
It’s called, “Out of Many, One Family: How Two Adults Claimed Twelve Children through Adoption.” It tells about our lives as foster parents (before we had too many kids to foster and had to adopt more instead.
You can check it out and let me know whether you’d like a copy.
http://www.outofmanyonefamily.com
As always, your podcasts are awesome!
Hi Tim and Wendy,
I actually found Kathy’s book for $1 at a used book store, and I’ve read it over and over!! It’s great, so everyone should read it!
Also, Claudia’s book that she mentioned above is awesome too. As is her blog. I hope you will review it and her blog also.
One question, do we ever get to find out Andrea and Linda’s real names now that they are adopted? just curious. i understand if you want to keep them as Andrea and Linda.
Julie