Episode 104 – Thank You for “Adopted Day”

D & K celebrate their adoption of Dillon and Austin. They describe their experience at court and the tender moments in the day that made it meaningful. They also let us in on a new situation in their lives and the great many awkward responses it brings.

15 thoughts on “Episode 104 – Thank You for “Adopted Day”

  1. Wowee! 2 boys and a baby! Congratulations! Remind us the age differences again? Krysta, I’d love to hear what you’re reading in terms of adopting/parenting across the race line, your experiences when you’re out with your boys, and exactly what you tell people to shut them down before the (hopefully accidental) rudeness becomes ridiculous. My knee jerk reaction is to become a mean kind of angry, which makes it hard to be educational. Any ideas for how to prepare for the awkward questions would be a great help! Congrats again!

  2. Emily,

    The boys are five and four.

    We probably need to do a future episode on transracial foster care and adoption but I can tell you what I have benefitted the most from is personal accounts of those who were adopted transracially (Growing Up Black in White by Kevin Hoffmann) or those who grew up in multi-racial families (The Color of Water by James McBride).

    As for comments, I’m still learning how to deal with those. I have to remember that being overly-defensive or rude does nothing to make adoption or foster care appealing. Overall, my goal in responding is getting people to think differently about foster care and adoption.

  3. Pingback: Couple of Things… « proverbs thirty:eight

  4. Thanks for sharing your story. I have done foster care in the past but had to take a break due to personal life situations. I am now newly married with a new baby (and a five year old) and trying to figure out how much longer to wait before starting foster care again. I am interested to hear how it goes with the new baby and continuing foster care! Also I am curious what you think about foster children older than your youngest child?

  5. Congratulations! 2011 – what a year of exciting changes for your family.
    Shannon in Indiana <
    PS: I'm so excited – my comment was mentioned on air on listener corner! 🙂

  6. Congratulations! May God bless your growing family!
    Thanks for a great podcast. I have read The Color of Water and it was a great book, I really enjoyed it.
    As I was listening to you relate the story of someone asking if you would be ‘returning’ the boys, I shouted aloud ‘I can’t, we lost the receipt!”
    And K, you can tell the boys that girls sometimes ‘cry when they’re happy’ and that means they like something very much. (you know, because bruddas don’t do that).
    By the way, now we go around the house saying ‘I just wanna be a brudda to my brudda’…..

  7. D&K, we got pregnant during our adoption 3 years ago too and we still get the comment “I’ve heard of that happening, that you get pregnant when you’re adopting because you’re so relaxed, not thinking about it, etc.” It drives me nuts because we too were not adopting as a result of fertility issues. My standard response has become “Fertility was never the issue. Too many orphans is the issue!”

  8. @Joley I will make sure to use the “receipt” response should I get that comment again. But I really hope I don’t have to use it.

  9. I would have been seriously tempted to ask that person if they sent back their older children every time they got pregnant. Grr… what an ignorant question.

  10. Thank you for mentioning that false statement about getting pregnant after adoption. It is not true. The majority of the time it is not true.

    And I love what Caroline says 🙂

  11. Hi D and K

    I’m still trying to catch up with the podcast and I am getting there :0)

    Just wanted to know what that online webpage was where we can get credit hours?

    And how long was that inter racial seminar exactly?

    My husband and I are going to our IMPACT seminar in GA were going to be on our 4th Tuesday next week :0D

    Thanks for being so informative along with T&W

    God bless


  12. Well, this could get you into some ethical prlomebs. As a foster parent, your goal is to support family reunification. If you are in a foster-adopt program, meaning you get to keep the child if the parents don’t work their case plan, then you have a huge conflict of interest. Are you willing to get attached to a child, only to say good-bye a year later? Could you, in that situation, be happy for the child, that things worked out so he or she could safely go back to the biological parents? Are you willing to support the parents’ legal rights ahead of your own wishes? Can you encourage them to keep doing what they need to do to get the baby back? Unless you are a very generous, self-sacrificing person who can answer, Yes, to all these questions, you’d be better off adopting through some other route.

  13. I’ve been binge listening to all the episodes for two weeks now as I get ready to start my classes. (First one is tonight!) In hearing the crazy comments you get it reminded me of a comment I had last week. A lot of the girls in my department have either just had a baby or a grandchild, and so whenever they bring them in they think it’s fun to speculate who is next. I honestly don’t find it fun as I’m single. But anyway I had a neat response this last time to say well I am becoming a foster parent. And the one girl goes well that’ll give you some practice for when you have your own. I’m sure my face showed the flood of emotions I felt after she said that. I had probably just listened to one of the episodes where Linda was still having bed time issues, and so I there were many thoughts that ran through my head. I am hoping that next time I’ll have a better answer than being quiet, but sometimes that is the best. Thanks you both for sharing your lives.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *