D & K give an update on their impending adoption and a review of “The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family” by Karyn Purvis. The book has been extremely helpful in their journey and has given them many practical tips including “3 simple rules”, the “redo” and “choices”.
We share our experience in taking the boys to court and introducing them to the judge who makes the decisions that shape their lives. The experience showed us why taking kids to court isn’t always advised, but might be just what the children need to understand their own situation.
In addition, T attended a TDM (Team Decision Making) Meeting and we run through what that meeting was like and the results from that meeting. In this episode we mention the Family-to-Family model. You can find resources on that here.
We recorded our 100th episode in front of an audience at Olive Crest Foster and Adoption Agency. It was such a pleasure to meet and connect with our listeners.
In this episode we tackle some of the toughest doubts and questions thrown at the foster care system. We respond to questions about inept social workers, the rights of birth parents and the limbo that kids are left in as they wait for the courts to decide their futures. We also share some thoughts on risk and what type of person it will take to reform the system.
“To Risk”
by William Arthur Ward
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.
T & W discuss W’s recent trip to Ethiopia. We explain what it is she does for work and why that led her to Ethiopia.
If you’re interesting in contributing to the compelling work Food for the Hungry is doing with orphan-head households, consider making a $10/month donation. Click Here. We hope to find 100 listeners to join us in making monthly donations.
An exciting announcement from T & W and an update from D & K. They’ve got news about just about every kid they’ve cared for, some of it good and some of it sad. Catch up on their story.
T & W reflect further on the cross-cultural issues at home and continue to run into the roadblocks in helping hurt kids. We share some of the strategies we have tried for helping a very angry boy to handle his pain. Sometimes we don’t see hope of things getting better for a child, and interventions rarely work right away. Still, we trust that children can heal over time in the context of family and community.
A high school production of “Beauty and the Beast” drives home a lesson for W about our kids. An “unbirthday” party doesn’t go so well for Luke (but maybe it really does). A listener who adopted a Filipino son helps us understand what we are really feeling about our Vietnamese sons.
T & W fill you in on the mess movie that is our lives. Life has been tough but not without its bright spots. The brightest has been Andrea’s birthday, but along with it came pain for Luke, who hasn’t celebrated a birthday in 3 years. We navigate this dilemma as well as the struggles of integrating the Vietnamese culture into our home.
T & W deal with the difficulty of having four kids with little emotional maturity and very few social skills. Sibling rivalry is the overwhelming issue in our home. We have tried some new techniques this week that seem to be working. We recap what life has been like over the last month and what tools we’re using to make things better.
We read from this article by Heather Forbes, author of Beyond Consequences.
We share our opinions about whether or not public schools are good for foster children and our experiences with navigating the system when kids have special educational needs. We also share how churches can support foster families.
We mention this great audiobook, Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore, that is currently available for free at ChristianAudio.com. If you’re a Christian with any interest in adoption you should definitely grab it while you can. The book inspired T to write the following:
When my foster son is taunted on the schoolyard with “You don’t have parents,” it is spiritual warfare; delivered from a cruel world that only reinforces everything his abusers have always told him.
And when he prays to God and expresses his thanks for his foster family, it is his own battle cry; telling the world that he is loved and that the war . . . is about to turn.
D & K have some exciting news to share. Austin and Dillon are now free for adoption! Hear them share some cute stories about the boys and walk us through their “Termination of Parental Rights” hearing. Also an update on Tommy and Molly’s reunification.
T & W tackle the issue of keeping our girls safe while bringing older (near teenage) foster sons into our home. Most of the episode is devoted to how everyone is doing with the new transition into a family of 6.
Here is the Christmas card that we mention made by “Luke”.
