Episode 70 – Interview with Adoptive Parent Amy

We interview Amy, a fost-adopt parent who has had the experience of adopting four siblings consecutively. Her most recent adoption is being completed across state lines. Amy shares some personal experiences including infertility, pregnancy after adopting, and the death of a child.

Also in this episode, we answer listener Kim’s question about how to help a foster child transition to his adoptive home.

14 responses to “Episode 70 – Interview with Adoptive Parent Amy”

  1. If Kim sees this I’d love for you to get in contact with me. I really related to a lot that you talked about here. Thanks for opening up your heart.

  2. Hi T, W and Amy,

    Thank you for this wonderful podcast. It was so touching to hear your story, Amy. I have a step-sister in a similar situation. I know she too will be blessed to hear your life story and testimony.

    T & W – I was a single foster mom for six years. I had six children during that time and was blessed to adopt one daughter. I too have been through the reunification, adoption and emancipation processes. I even experienced the death of one of my babies after he was reunified with his family. After the emancipation of my oldest daughter, I married and after being married for six years, my husband and I have become foster parents together. We currently have two 9 year old boys.

    When I first became a foster mom, besides creating a Life Book, I made each child a collage frame with pictures throughout our time together. I would also write a special poem or a Bible verse that specifically addressed their life and placed that in one of the spaces in the collage frame. I made one for myself as well. I have them to this day. I did not receive any kind of a record for my daughter from her bio family or from any of her previous foster placements. It is sometimes very difficult for her not to have baby pictures of any kind of record before the age of 4 when we were united. I believe any information we can give to our children will be helpful no matter where they go or if they stay. It helps to fill in those puzzle pieces of their lives.

    Thank you for sharing your lives with us.

  3. What a touching and informative episode. I, too, have wondered how to prepare the adoptive family for our current foster son. Our 19 mo. old foster son came to us at the end of June from a previous foster family, and they only had one picture of him. The plans are – as of now – that a family member is going to adopt him, but because they live out of state, it is a much longer process than an in-state adoption. I do have contact with this family, and I asked them for pictures of them to show to our foster son. I show them to him and tell him their names. I am hoping that by seeing their pictures on a regular basis, it will help when he eventually transitions and goes to his forever family.

    Looking forward to hearing more ideas on this topic.

  4. We just had our home study this week. I was looking through some policies that we need to sign and one of them is that we are required to keep a Life Book for each child in our care. I was glad to see that our agency has implemented this as a “must” for foster parents.

  5. Tim and Wendy,
    Sorry if it was nosy to be curious about your kids’ names. Totally understand confidentiality.
    Hey, are your names really Tim and Wendy!!!???
    Really great interview with Amy. It’s nice to hear the voices of another real live foster/adoptive parent.
    I thought maybe you downplayed the effect drugs can have on kids. I have read on another blog, Kari’s (http://thoughtspreserved.blogspot.com/) that alcohol effects the brain worse than drugs. But drugs aren’t good either, of course. It makes me mad that there is a perception that drugs are bad for babies in the womb, but that it’s OK to drink alcohol some while pregnant. Arrrrgggh. Have you had experience through your foster experience with drug or alcohol affected people/kids?

  6. We are fostering to adopt our 15 month old son. He has been with us for 9 months and entered care at 2 months. The same foster family had him from the time he entered care until he came to us. Their family has been a HUGE blessing to us and we have kept in close contact.

    I wanted to share some things that they did that were helpful to us. First of all, they took pictures of him each month and saved them all to a disk for us. Though we don’t have photos of his first 8 weeks, we do have baby photos of him. They even included some photos of him with their own children. This is special to us, because we intend to have our kids keep their friendships.

    The foster mom packed a box with some clothes, a blanket, and some toys that he enjoyed. She included a letter to us that we will share with him when he is older. In a plastic cover we found a typed list of feeding info, allergies, detailed info about meds, and brand of diapers and detergent. It also listed all of the doctors he was seeing and their contact info as well as upcoming appointments. There were sheets from the Dr’s offices that included directions to the office and any important info about their office procedures. Most importantly, she gave us all her contact information in case we had questions.

    Our little man came to us on Dec. 22, so she also sent a few Christmas presents from her family. That was a huge blessing since we got him quickly and didn’t have a lot of time to get much for him.

    I know things would probably be different for an older child, but for a infant, I thought that she did a lot to help us. Hope this helps someone else who is preparing to move a child.

  7. Thank you to Tim and Wendy and everyone who gave us good tips on transitioning our foster son to his forever adoptive home in a kind and loving way. We got a new placment just yesterday- a lovely 19 month old also up for adoption- so we will use your good advice for this child also. Thanks for this truly informational and inspriring podcast-

  8. i just listened to this podcast today on my ipod (tearing up in Target as i shopped while listening to Kim and W talk).

    i don’t want to impose, but i would love to follow kim’s blog if that is something she is willing to make public.

    our family is new to the fost/adopt journey and can’t say enough how much we appreciate this podcast and reading through everyone’s comments.


  9. Wow! This was another really good podcast. Our family was touched by RSV too, but how brave of Amy to share her story.

  10. Hi Tim & Wendy,
    I am finishing up my homestudy to adopt from fostercare, and I have enjoyed many hours of listening to your podcasts! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this.
    I guess I’m writing this comment because contrary to what Amy thought, in my opinion NOT answering the intrusive question and just leaving the question “hanging out there” probably does in fact help. If I had asked someone a question and they did not respond but rather started digging around in their purse/pocket, you BET I would start thinking “what did I say?” Asking themselves “what did I say?” is exactly what you want them to do. I believe that forcing them to consider the implications of what they asked without addressing it yourself is probably the perfect response.
    Thanks again to everyone,

  11. Hi! Amy mentions a blog. Can you link to it? This was such a great interview! I just discovered your podcast a few months ago and am slowly working my way through them. Thanks for being such a great resource!

  12. I have only been listening for a few weeks now…and I am a few years behind. However, I still feel compelled to comment. I have fostered a child that is related to me via a Kinship placement & license. This child’s brain was SEVERLY affected by prenatal drug exposure. She has multiple brain abnormalities that will NOT heal themselves and will impact her for the rest of her life. I am truly appreciative of the work your guest has done and the care and love that she puts into her children. However, no one should be mislead to believe that a drug affected child’s brain will heal itself.

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